Dear Monsters,
I love you. I truly do. I want you to be successful in life with whatever you choose to do. I want you to have amazing careers and families. I want to equip you both with the knowledge that you’ll one day need to pick out your dad and my’s nursing home. And encourage you to find a career that pays you enough to make it a good one. I want you to be able to roll with the punches and to not be afraid to make mistakes. Because it is through mistakes we learn the greatest lessons. I want you to take what I’m about to say and carry it within your hearts for all eternity.
“Toughen up, Buttercup.”
You’ve both been told this a number of times, but you don’t seem to grasp it yet.
Monster A, I really don’t need to know every time your dad scares you. He’s doing his job and honestly, he’s just not that scary. I also don’t need to know when Monster S tells you something you don’t want to hear. She’s your little sister. It’s her job to annoy you. Stop being so scared about EVERYTHING! If you got past being scared of daddy when he’s trying to scare you, he wouldn’t find it so funny and keep doing it. I know, honey. Sometimes parents are jerk-faces.
Monster S, you’ve got to start figure some stuff out on your own. Just because Monster A teases you does not mean you should get butt-hurt by it. Love ya, Hon, but seriously, stop it. He’s your big brother. It’s his job to tease you, but I promise he is your biggest protector and loves you more than anything. Also, stop complaining when you don’t get your way. I really can’t think of a single time it has worked for you. Oh, and EAT YOUR FOOD! I will continue to send you to bed without supper until ya figure it out Sweet Pea. You eat two meals and two snacks a day. I won’t even feel bad about it.
Now, listen up. I say these words to you not just because I think you need to learn that life doesn’t always go the way you want, but because I know from experience how painful life can be when you take everything/everyone a little too seriously. It’s lousy. It’s something I struggle with daily. Just ask your dad if you don’t believe me. I get my feelings hurt a little too easily, most of the time from very well-meaning people. Sometimes even from the two of you. I want you to be caring and compassionate people. I want you to feel free to express how you’re feeling in most situations, but you need to steel yourselves against what the world WILL throw at you. You need to understand that I will always be there for you, but I’m going to start watching from the sidelines more and more over the years. You will always have an ear to listen to whatever you have to say. But I can’t fight your battles for you forever and I also can’t decide how you will respond to things. You should start practicing with the small stuff now, while I’m still here to guide you along the way. I don’t tell you to “toughen up, Buttercup,” because I don’t want to listen to you or deal with your problems. I do it because I DO love you. I love you with my whole heart. No one but God will ever love you as much as I do. And when I release you from my home into the wide, cruel, beautiful world, I will do so with the un-doubtable knowledge that you will be successful, mostly happy, productive members of the human race.
Love,
Your crazy, “mean,” mom
of moms and monsters 